I just finished reading The Five Love Languages. It is a very interesting book. It is well written, easy to read, and kept my attention from start to finish.
Dr. Chapman claims that many problems in marriage are caused by the spouses speaking different love languages. He says people express love in different ways. He says that if you learn which love language is the one your spouse speaks and use that one then your spouse will feel loved and your marriage will improve.
The author says there are five main love languages:
1. Quality time
2. Words of Affirmation
4. Acts of Service
5. Physical Touch
He says that if you are speaking a different love language than what your spouse speaks he will not feel loved. If you speak the language of gift giving and give your spouse hundreds of gifts but she actually wants quality time…then she will not feel loved no matter how much money you spend on the gifts. And if you want your spouse to speak the acts of service language while she speaks words of affirmation…you won’t feel loved no matter often she tells you how great you are.
He says that in order to have a great relationship and make sure your spouse feels loved you have to learn what love language your spouse needs to hear. And then you have to learn to speak it. This is harder for some folks than for others. A person who was raised in a family that didn’t touch much would have a harder time learning the physical touch language.
I think he is probably right. I am going to try it with my husband anyway. We seem to already speak the right languages but just not enough of them.
How about you? Do you think you speak your spouses love language?
There is a free study guide and a test you can take to find out your love language on the five love languages website.
The author Gary Chapman is also the director of Marriage and Family Life Consultants, Inc., does seminar presentations, and has his own radio program that airs on more than 100 stations. He has also written a few other books in the Five Love Languages series including separate editions for men, teenagers, and children.
I won a copy of The Five Love Languages a while back on Cuzinlogic. You should check out her giveaways.